Now that the semester is coming to a close I am sure that you are all terribly depressed. I also assume that you will be trying to relieve this depression with some social gatherings which may include some high octane dancing and delicious snacks. Here’s what I’m willing to bet won’t help you relieve this sadness from your life: Have you ever been at a party dancing, maybe chatting with your friends, when all of a sudden a group of disgusting, unpleasant people that you have never met before and could have lived without ever meeting, walk in? Yeah, me too. My friends and I have come up with a name for these people-- we call them randos. Randos are the random people who show up at a party uninvited, make a huge mess, and are overall unpleasant to have around.
Here’s the thing I don’t understand. If you are not invited to a party, or better yet, don’t know anyone who lives there, why would you want to go? Am I the only one who finds it a little awkward to just show up somewhere and be like “hey everybody, let’s party, holler!” No, there will be none of that. Get yourself and your nastiness out of their nice clean apartment. I have never had a get together at my apartment before, so I can only speak from my past experience with my friends, but it’s still just as annoying. There I am making some delicious sausage quesadillas and before you know it there’s some strange man or woman eating them all before I even get any. That’s not classy; where do these people learn manners?
Of course, then there’s a matter which goes along with what I discussed last issue: cleanliness. Have you ever noticed that whenever people show up to a party that they’re not invited to, they always end up being the messiest people at the party? If you spill something, clean it up. It is not the person who lives there’s job to be playing Cinderella, scrubbing the mess you made, while you’re dancing around them acting as if nothing happened. Trust me, I’ve seen it happen to my friends and it’s not pretty. It probably would have been more pleasant for them had I assisted, but I was a little preoccupied getting my jam on to some Janet Jackson, not gonna lie.
Now, I have saved the most heinous thing about these unwanted visitors for last. It’s the reason why so many good pieces of furniture can never be used again in dorms all over this campus. Now if you don’t know the person whose dorm you are in, exactly what makes you feel comfortable enough to do inappropriate things on their furniture? That’s not cool, people don’t want to see that at a party, and especially not on their new couch from Wal-Mart. Would you like two people conducting an anatomy lesson on your couch? I don’t think so.
What have we learned today? If you are going to show up at a party uninvited, please act appropriately. You can also make it easy on yourself and just hang out with the people that you know and mess up their rooms. Your friends will get over it but when you see someone in the daylight hours that had to throw out a perfectly good love seat thanks to your behavior, it can be quite awkward and you might end up owing them money. So take my advice: as the semester comes to a close, stick with those you know. Have a spectacular break, everyone. I’ll be here when we get back with plenty more to discuss. See you then!
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